From the beginning, Yahweh knew that it was not good that the man should be alone: Genesis 2:18 And Yahweh Elohim said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
With that, He created a beautiful and wonderful gift and brought her to Adam: Genesis 2:21 And Yahweh Elohim caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which Yahweh Elohim had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
If as a man I can just grasp the great gift that I have been given, it will go a long way toward understanding how Yahweh desires me to relate to Enid my wife. It doesn’t take the average man much time to understand and appreciate the wonderful, beautiful characteristics that Yahweh has created woman with. Truly, He created woman to be beautiful on the inside as well as on the outside. As for you my dear wife Enid, words will fail me to explain your beauty. I am blessed not only to have a wife, but a beautiful one too. I asked God for a partner, but He chose to give me a very beautiful one beyond what I had asked for. Yes, I found a good thing and obtained favour from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of Yahweh.
Some comments and reflections on these scriptures:
When I found my wife, I obtained favor from Yahweh. I have been blessed with a gift from above. I need to appreciate the gift Yahweh gave me. To not appreciate is to not be thankful to Yahweh. I notice that nothing yet is spoken of a perfect wife without fault. The fact that I have a wife is a blessing in and of itself. Yahweh’s desire is that I enjoy my wife and be blessed with what He has given me: Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. Proverbs 5:18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
In the Torah/Word of Yahweh, I see Yahweh’s desire for this: Deuteronomy 24:5 When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.
It is my duty to ‘cheer up’ my wife and rejoice with the blessing Yahweh has given. I need to not take this duty lightly, but realize that to fail in this area is to sin against Yahweh. It is Yahweh’s will for me to rejoice and live joyfully with the woman Yahweh has given me.
This is an area often neglected. I am expected to give honor to my wife. Too often, a man’s wife is the object of dishonor in the form of jokes, loud public rebukes and complaint sessions between men and men. It is time that I give my wife the honor that she should receive: 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you1 of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
I need to acknowledge that while my wife is the weaker vessel, I am heir together with her of the grace of life: 1 Corinthians 12:22 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.
Interestingly, the duty to honor my wife is somehow tied into the effectiveness of our prayers. This is not a new concept at all, it is also found in the book of Malachi: Malachi 2:13 13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.[a] So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.
So, I see that if I will not honor and deal kindly with the wife Yahweh has given me, Yahweh will not receive my offerings. Prayer is also considered to be an offering: Psalm 141:2 Let my prayer be set forth before thee as incense; and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice. Proverbs 15:8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to Yahweh: but the prayer of the upright is his delight. Revelation 8:3 And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. 4 And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the saints, ascended up before Elohim out of the angel’s hand.
Perhaps I don’t realize all that goes on in the spiritual realm, but Malachi declares that Yahweh cannot endure the treacherous dealings and neglecting of my wife. Let’s review: Isaiah 1:13 13 Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me. New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations— I cannot bear your worthless assemblies. 14 Your New Moon feasts and your appointed festivals I hate with all my being. They have become a burden to me; I am weary of bearing them. 15 When you spread out your hands in prayer, I hide my eyes from you; even when you offer many prayers, I am not listening. Your hands are full of blood!
My wife is not a widow, but is it so, spiritually? I see the great concern that Yahweh has for the well being of my wife. He wants to be sure that she is honored and taken care of. I should share that concern fully. 1 Timothy 5:3 Honourwidows that are widows indeed.
Why is Yahweh so concerned about the widows? Is it only because their physical needs must be met? Are not the spiritual needs just as important, if not far more important? Considering all the scriptures where Yahweh is angry because the widows are neglected, woe to the fathers who neglect the spiritual needs of their wives! All the Sabbaths, calling of assemblies, feast days can be a burden to Him because He cannot endure the neglect. He cannot endure iniquity and the sacred meeting. Yahweh is VERY concerned about the well being of my wife, shouldn’t I be? If, in Isaiah 1:13-17, Yahweh cannot endure the offerings, Feast Days and Sabbaths of those who are neglecting the physical needs of what used to be another man’s wife (the widow), how much more so if we neglect the spiritual needs of our own wives?Consider:1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Is it just the physical providing that Yahweh is concerned about? Surely, the spiritual is far more important. The first leads to physical death, the latter leads to spiritual death. So, are we worse than an unbeliever? Let it not be!
The Messiah and the Assembly- The Church.
If I want to raise children of righteousness, I need to realize that my relationship with my wife is a mirror of how the Messiah and the assembly relate to one another: Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wife, even as Messiah also loved the assembly (the Church), and gave himself for it;
Jesus loved the church so much, that He gave Himself for it. He gave His very life and was wounded, tortured and humiliated for the sake of the church. I am to love my wife, even as the Messiah loved the Church her Assembly.
This is a tall order! The love that the Messiah has for the church is difficult to fathom to fully comprehend: Ephesians 3:14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Master Yahushua Messiah, 15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; 17 That Messiah may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19 And to know the love of Messiah, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of Elohim.
But this is my calling and duty, to love my wife in this way. But what if instead of the Messiah loving us, He was bitter toward us? I know it isn’t this way, therefore let us not be this way toward our wives: Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love you wife, and be not bitter against them.
How does Messiah deal with us? I have a clear example of how I should deal with my wife. I know how gently, patiently and longsuffering He is with me. Though I aren’t perfect, He still pours out his love and blessings on me. Yes, let me be this way with my wife! Continuing in Ephesians 5: 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious assembly, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
The Messiah’s love sanctifies and cleanses the body. In the same way we cleanse, cherish and care for our own bodies, so should I love my wife. I should care for the needs of my wife in the same way I would care for the needs of my body. If I am hungry, I eat. If I am thirsty, I drink. If I am not clean, I cleanse myselves. I need to have this level of care and concern for my wife. I should take care of the physical and spiritual needs of my wife in this same way. For she is, as Adam said: Genesis 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Continuing in Ephesians: 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Master the assembly: 30 For I are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Messiah and the assembly. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
With the husband and wife relationship being a picture of the Messiah’s relationship to the body, let’s remember that we demonstrate the Messiah’s love for the body to our children with the way we treat our wives. If I want our daughters to grow up being submissive, humble and wonderful blessings to their future husbands, then I need to show them how wonderful it is to be submissive when a husband prefers, honors and respects his submissive and humble wife. I have a real opportunity with our children, to show them the Messiah’s love! I can show them His mercy, His care and His concern for us every day in our homes. After all, it is the Messiah’s love for us that has compelled us to love Him: 1 John 4:19 I love him, because he first loved us. 20 If a man say, I love Elohim, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love Elohim whom he hath not seen?
But if we can demonstrate the Messiah’s love to our children through our love for our wives, our children can truly understand the Messiah’s love for us first and then proceed to love Him in return. It is all part of following the Messiah’s footsteps and walking as He walked! I could potentially teach the ways of Yahweh to our children a hundred times over and still not have them understand it because I really aren’t demonstrating the Messiah’s love for them in action and deed. This could potentially result in them forsaking Yahweh later in life! Oh how important it is for us to fulfill this commandment!
When scripture says that we love ourselves when we love our wives, it really means it. Let’s discover why. A “Help”. When I love and honor my wife as I should, it creates the best environment for my wife to fulfill her role as a submissive, faithful helper. Woman was created to be a “help” meet for man. The Hebrew word used for “help” is often used to describe how Yahweh is our divine helper. Yahweh knew that two is better than one: Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
With a man, a woman and Yahweh, I have a threefold cord that is not quickly broken. When I add our children, and then the church, I am invincible! How many husbands and wives (and indeed the entire family!) are prayer teams, praying together, uniting against the adversary? But we need oneness with Yahweh to accomplish anything. Yahushua (Jesus) prayed for this: John 17:20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
There is great power in this unity if the unity includes a oneness with Yahweh. Let’s strive to attain that oneness! However, I later learn that the unity that Adam and Eve (Chawwah) had with Yahweh was broken in Genesis chapter three: Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” 2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
Here I see that Eve was deceived into eating the fruit that Yahweh had forbidden. Also notice that Adam was ‘with her’ when all this was going on. Other translations I have checked (even the Septuagint) say that Adam was in the company of Eve at this time. It is true that Adam was not deceived 1 Timothy 2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
So Adam apparently failed to protect her and take the lead in this situation. A silent husband who just kind of ‘goes along with everything’ has wreaked havoc in many a home. In this case, it appears a silent husband created an environment that wrecked the whole world and all of their children. The potential is the same today, husbands! The “silent husband” perhaps thinks that if his wife does something and he just goes along with it, that somehow he is less responsible for what takes place. Adam too, thought he had an excuse: Genesis 3:7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. 8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” 11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” 12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
Adam said, “The woman that thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat”. Adam’s excuse was not effective at all. He was cast out of the garden and sentenced to death just as Yahweh had warned. I too am expected to live according to the word of Yahweh, and not remain silent when a temptation enters our walled city- our home. I must stand and protect my wife, and thus, our children from the enemy and the deception that he brings. I keep our family from evil in doing so. Therefore, when we fulfill our roles as husbands, we are only truly helping ourselves in doing so!
Let’s look at some other reasons why it is beneficial to ourselves that we truly fulfill our roles as husbands. Doing these things will create the best environment for us to have the virtuous wife we all desire. Many men are missing one of the glorious crowns they could have, a virtuous woman: Prov 12:4 A virtuous woman [is] a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed [is] as rottenness in his bones. Prov 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Prov 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also], and he praiseth her.
My wife can be safely trusted to do us good and not evil all the days of our lives. I can know that the decisions she makes are the same as our own because I have spent so much time with her in the Word, instructing her and the whole family in the ways of righteousness. Such a woman will have mature judgment, wise counsel and knowledge and understanding. Such a woman would have no major spiritual problems in her life because her husband is so jealous for her spiritual Ill being. I see that the husband trusts and praises the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. He is also a well known elder at the gates: Proverbs 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
The husband sits among the elders (leaders, Executives) of the land. He is trusted to make the decisions the elders make, in part, because it is evident that his house is in order, his children (who rise up and call their mother blessed) are in submission and his wife is obviously well cared for. 1 Timothy 3:10 And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.11 Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.
But let me remember that even if my wife is perfect in character, it is Yahweh that deserves the praise and glory: Proverbs 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from Yahweh.
Having a prudent, virtuous wife can bring about the same characteristics in our children. What a blessing I could have giving our daughters to wise husbands! A wise husband would spot a rebellious daughter pretty quickly. Having children whose marriages are good can save us a lot of heartache in the future.
These are only the beginnings of the great blessings I can receive when I am fulfilling my role as a husband. I can and should take responsibility for their physical and spiritual well being. I am entrusted to care for them, to love them and truly appreciate them as the blessing from Yahweh they are. If these things convict you, repent before Yahweh and before your whole family and confess your sins. It will go a long way toward the healing you need to improve your home and it will go a long way toward the respect you need to bring about the necessary changes. Husbands, love your wives! – So help me God! Amen!